Horse Boy

November 25, 2009

At last I watched this documentary.  Last night I sat tranfixed as I watched this small boy riding across the Mongolian Step with his father.  What an amazing story.  The power of shamanism is such a powerful force, this is living testimony.    the following is just a short clip

Prayer to Persephone

November 18, 2009

Prayer to Persephone

Be to her, Persephone,
All the things I might not be:
Take her head upon your knee.
She that was so proud and wild,
Flippant, arrogant and free,
She that had no need of me,
Is a little lonely child
Lost in Hell,—Persephone,
Take her head upon your knee:
Say to her, “My dear, my dear,
It is not so dreadful here.”

 

Edna St. Vincent Millay

 

Down in the woods today SF DSC_0574

the deep dark woods of our soul, do you go there, do you dare to go there?  are you afraid to enter into the menacing darkness that old folklore tells us not to enter for fear of death and destruction.  Little red riding hood met her wolf, Hansel and Gretel the wicked witch, Vasalis met Baba Yaga, but in those times of fear and death, wonderful seedlings grow, intuition to see the way back home to self to allow the dream of our becoming to emerge.

Mighty oaks from little acorns grow, so when you go for a walk in this deep dark woods of the soul, listen………… underfoot things are stirring.

“The greatest achievement was at first, and for a time a dream.  The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities”

James Allen (statesman)

I took creative inspiration from the quote and created this image.  Its layered from photographs I have taken in nature, ferns unfurling, grasses swaying, teasels drying in the hot sun and sketches that I drew from my own souls journey . see more images click here http://www.carolgearing.com and http://www.flickr.com/photos/8853574@N03/

A Despacho being made at a temple of water workship, TIPERON near Cusco, Peru.  The man speaking is Juan Nunez del Prado who is one of Peur’s formesost contemporary shamans.

Carol mother earth 4 small file

As we begin to journey with the feminine energies, we begin to connect with our true selves, learn to distinguish which voice is speaking, the chatter in the head or the voice from your heart, your soul voice, the wisdom of your intuition.  There is a wonderful story,  an old eastern european fairy tale about Vasalisa and her little doll, how she is sent on a journey to meet the Old Crone, the Dark feminine,Baba Yaga.  Its all about INTUITION and DISCRIMINATION, gifts beyond measure.  I recommend you read this story, a beautiful version can be found in WOMEN WHO RUN WITH WOLVES by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Click here to purchase

” The way to maintain one’s connection to the wild is to ask yourself what it is that you want. This is the sorting of the seed from the dirt. One of the most important discriminations we can make in this matter is the difference between things that beckon to us and things that call from our souls.

Nowhere can this be seen more clearly than in the choice of mates and lovers. A lover cannot be chosen a la smorgasbord. A lover has to be chosen from soul-craving. To choose just because something mouthwatering stands before ou will never satisfy the hunger of the soul-self. And that is what the intuition is for; it is the direct messenger of the soul.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run with the Wolves)

The light and the Dark

November 3, 2009

darkness

“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” 

Carl Jung

MotherGODDESS Kali

Working with the dark feminine ultimately brings us to a place of rebirth, but before that we need to take her guidance to let die that which no longer serves us in our lives.  Lets take a look at her, this life, death, life mother the epitome of the dark night of the soul. 

Mother Sister Jaguar, Ortorongo, Isis, Hekate, Kali, Baba Yaga, they all represent the three stages of the cycle of Life (creation), Death  (Destruction) and Rebirth (transformation).  They are powerful, ferocious, seductive, sensual, just, protective and tender.

At our most recent workshop we worked with Kali, often referred to as “Black Mother Time” or “Goddess of Transformation” the uncompromising mother of death. It is very hard to understand the spiritual significance of such a goddess without doing some research. Kali’s name means, “time”. After learning more about Kali I have found new meaning in the saying, “time heals all wounds.” Kali reminds us that good really can come of difficult situations and stands at the ready to dance courage into our lives at our request. 

Kali’s bloodthirsty reputation reminds us of how life is full of a constant succession of endings. Death and rebirth.  Even now, seeing summer turn into winter, we are reminded of that.  It always feels good too when we get into the rebirthing time of the year, spring when pachamama stirs and works her magic.

Kali also reminds us that our lives will never change until we release (kill off) the outdated, unproductive beliefs we have. These beliefs can be anything from how we view ourselves to how we view religious dogma.  We all carry around our own fears, some of us call them our  “demons”.

In many of us there is dark element, a situation suppressed deep in our subconscious, we have a slight sense of its existence sometimes, but just cannot put our finger on it, we can feel it in “certain” situations, sometimes dreams allude to it………….  We feel uneasy when certain subjects are raised; we make decisions based on subconscious fears that don’t serve us. “Something” lurking from our past that we just cannot find or understand.  By working with the energy of the dark feminine, the dark goddess, she can provide us with a great gift, a golden key that will unlock the door and bring light into the dark

Lets have a look of some of these fears, some of these outmoded beliefs.  For many of us, as in the one of the nine rites of the Vasalisa story, it’s the voice of the Too Good Mother.

For some the voice of us the mother is LOUD, she can encroach on our growth and inhibit our natural WILDNESS, stop our natural vividness to shine powerfully in this world.   Her voice will ring in our heads, “Oh, don’t do that”,  “Your dress is too low, too short, too seductive”,  “ Good girls don’t do that”,  “boys don’t cry “ It’s a scary world out there”, “ You should do what your told”, “Be quiet don’t make a show of yourself”

For some parenting skills were abusive, both physical and/or sexual, resulting in emotions and feelings to be suppressed and pushed down, split off, self-esteem at it’s lowest.  For others a trauma of some kind, accident, rape, a death of a parent when young caused the same splitting off, deadening of the emotions. All these incidences have conditioned us to live through a very distorted view of ourselves and belief systems that do not serve us.

So many beliefs’ that we hold in all areas of our lives, as mothers and fathers, wives, sisters, husbands, lovers, brothers, workers, both culturally and individually, they suppress our natural instincts until we are a fraction of who we can be.  Our true wildness that was with us at birth gets buried, year by year more layers of “ I cant do this”, “Can’t to do that”, “That’s not for me”, “my body is ugly”,  “ I am useless”, “I am inadequate””, “I can’t do that because my family will think I am strange”, “I can’t write a book because I don’t have a university degree”, “I am stupid”,  “I am not a good mother”,  “Nobody will love me, I am unlovable”,  “I am not good enough”, “I am too fat, too thin”, it goes on and on. Each “untruth” falls like a leaf to the ground, decays leaving another layer of mulch for mother earth, but in turn, our “real” juicy, magical moistness”, our  “wildness” is getting buried deeper and deeper.

The usual emotion that stops us from stepping off this well trodden path of conformity is FEAR.    What does fear look like? Take a moment to reflect, recite to yourself a well-trodden statement, that little voice in your head that nags at you… where are you feeling it? See it, what colour is it? What shape, what texture is it, can you smell it, what senses does is conjure up………… It doesn’t sound too good does it, fear is taking up a lot psychic space, we haul this around all the time, its no wonder we get to the stage of not being able to carry the burden any longer.

To enable us to make space for our natural wildness to blossom, we need to “let go” bring death to our belief systems, this is the time to call in the energies of the Dark Feminine, she who knows the cycle of life / death / life

We all may have felt her at times, I know, I have embodied her many, many times myself.  Some of you may recognise her too?

“Some days I wield my sword with might, without apology.  Some days I anoint the messiest of wounds with the tenderest touch.    The power is in the courage to do what needs to be done for right action, for healing, for ultimate harmony”

A dark image, a ferocious woman, dismembered heads and limbs, dark, blood red.  White skulls, serpents, weapons.  Naked voluptuous body, free flowing hair, red lips, looking quite seductive, a far cry from MOTHER you might think…………. 

However she is not to be feared, this triple Goddess of Creation, preservation and destruction.   When journeying she told me that her naked dance was one of freedom, her stance held her power and her rattling saber held all the anger she felt towards those who had tried to suppress her. Behind the anger was pain. Behind the pain flowed the strength, understanding and the wisdom of our full feminine nature. When I stepped back from her and looked again she was beautiful. All of the fear I had placed on her had disappeared and I knew that she had much to teach me and that I had much to learn.

One way to get in touch with this powerful feminine energy is to dance, put on some really emotive music that stimulates movement, where loose clothing, feel the strong energies rise as you call her in.  See her wild hair, her naked voluptuous body, her red mouth, her saber of destruction, the blood, heads ripped from bodies and her necklace of white skulls, she is there in her all her ferocity, face her, this is your fear.  Then turn up the volume and confront her, let her frenzied nature embrace you, shout, scream, dance and stamp around, let all go that which no longer serves you.    Then as those old “fear” energies subside, let her comfort you, feel her embrace, her tenderness, feel her skin next to yours, let her attend to your wounds, she knows, understand what it has taken to get to this point.  Give thanks to her in helping you to find the courage to face up to her and release your fear and unlock the door to your own wildness, your own intuitive magical nature……………………….. Run free………………….

Close your eyes if you want to, let your body move, let if flow and speak its own language, let your belly speak