Working with the Dark feminine

November 3, 2009

MotherGODDESS Kali

Working with the dark feminine ultimately brings us to a place of rebirth, but before that we need to take her guidance to let die that which no longer serves us in our lives.  Lets take a look at her, this life, death, life mother the epitome of the dark night of the soul. 

Mother Sister Jaguar, Ortorongo, Isis, Hekate, Kali, Baba Yaga, they all represent the three stages of the cycle of Life (creation), Death  (Destruction) and Rebirth (transformation).  They are powerful, ferocious, seductive, sensual, just, protective and tender.

At our most recent workshop we worked with Kali, often referred to as “Black Mother Time” or “Goddess of Transformation” the uncompromising mother of death. It is very hard to understand the spiritual significance of such a goddess without doing some research. Kali’s name means, “time”. After learning more about Kali I have found new meaning in the saying, “time heals all wounds.” Kali reminds us that good really can come of difficult situations and stands at the ready to dance courage into our lives at our request. 

Kali’s bloodthirsty reputation reminds us of how life is full of a constant succession of endings. Death and rebirth.  Even now, seeing summer turn into winter, we are reminded of that.  It always feels good too when we get into the rebirthing time of the year, spring when pachamama stirs and works her magic.

Kali also reminds us that our lives will never change until we release (kill off) the outdated, unproductive beliefs we have. These beliefs can be anything from how we view ourselves to how we view religious dogma.  We all carry around our own fears, some of us call them our  “demons”.

In many of us there is dark element, a situation suppressed deep in our subconscious, we have a slight sense of its existence sometimes, but just cannot put our finger on it, we can feel it in “certain” situations, sometimes dreams allude to it………….  We feel uneasy when certain subjects are raised; we make decisions based on subconscious fears that don’t serve us. “Something” lurking from our past that we just cannot find or understand.  By working with the energy of the dark feminine, the dark goddess, she can provide us with a great gift, a golden key that will unlock the door and bring light into the dark

Lets have a look of some of these fears, some of these outmoded beliefs.  For many of us, as in the one of the nine rites of the Vasalisa story, it’s the voice of the Too Good Mother.

For some the voice of us the mother is LOUD, she can encroach on our growth and inhibit our natural WILDNESS, stop our natural vividness to shine powerfully in this world.   Her voice will ring in our heads, “Oh, don’t do that”,  “Your dress is too low, too short, too seductive”,  “ Good girls don’t do that”,  “boys don’t cry “ It’s a scary world out there”, “ You should do what your told”, “Be quiet don’t make a show of yourself”

For some parenting skills were abusive, both physical and/or sexual, resulting in emotions and feelings to be suppressed and pushed down, split off, self-esteem at it’s lowest.  For others a trauma of some kind, accident, rape, a death of a parent when young caused the same splitting off, deadening of the emotions. All these incidences have conditioned us to live through a very distorted view of ourselves and belief systems that do not serve us.

So many beliefs’ that we hold in all areas of our lives, as mothers and fathers, wives, sisters, husbands, lovers, brothers, workers, both culturally and individually, they suppress our natural instincts until we are a fraction of who we can be.  Our true wildness that was with us at birth gets buried, year by year more layers of “ I cant do this”, “Can’t to do that”, “That’s not for me”, “my body is ugly”,  “ I am useless”, “I am inadequate””, “I can’t do that because my family will think I am strange”, “I can’t write a book because I don’t have a university degree”, “I am stupid”,  “I am not a good mother”,  “Nobody will love me, I am unlovable”,  “I am not good enough”, “I am too fat, too thin”, it goes on and on. Each “untruth” falls like a leaf to the ground, decays leaving another layer of mulch for mother earth, but in turn, our “real” juicy, magical moistness”, our  “wildness” is getting buried deeper and deeper.

The usual emotion that stops us from stepping off this well trodden path of conformity is FEAR.    What does fear look like? Take a moment to reflect, recite to yourself a well-trodden statement, that little voice in your head that nags at you… where are you feeling it? See it, what colour is it? What shape, what texture is it, can you smell it, what senses does is conjure up………… It doesn’t sound too good does it, fear is taking up a lot psychic space, we haul this around all the time, its no wonder we get to the stage of not being able to carry the burden any longer.

To enable us to make space for our natural wildness to blossom, we need to “let go” bring death to our belief systems, this is the time to call in the energies of the Dark Feminine, she who knows the cycle of life / death / life

We all may have felt her at times, I know, I have embodied her many, many times myself.  Some of you may recognise her too?

“Some days I wield my sword with might, without apology.  Some days I anoint the messiest of wounds with the tenderest touch.    The power is in the courage to do what needs to be done for right action, for healing, for ultimate harmony”

A dark image, a ferocious woman, dismembered heads and limbs, dark, blood red.  White skulls, serpents, weapons.  Naked voluptuous body, free flowing hair, red lips, looking quite seductive, a far cry from MOTHER you might think…………. 

However she is not to be feared, this triple Goddess of Creation, preservation and destruction.   When journeying she told me that her naked dance was one of freedom, her stance held her power and her rattling saber held all the anger she felt towards those who had tried to suppress her. Behind the anger was pain. Behind the pain flowed the strength, understanding and the wisdom of our full feminine nature. When I stepped back from her and looked again she was beautiful. All of the fear I had placed on her had disappeared and I knew that she had much to teach me and that I had much to learn.

One way to get in touch with this powerful feminine energy is to dance, put on some really emotive music that stimulates movement, where loose clothing, feel the strong energies rise as you call her in.  See her wild hair, her naked voluptuous body, her red mouth, her saber of destruction, the blood, heads ripped from bodies and her necklace of white skulls, she is there in her all her ferocity, face her, this is your fear.  Then turn up the volume and confront her, let her frenzied nature embrace you, shout, scream, dance and stamp around, let all go that which no longer serves you.    Then as those old “fear” energies subside, let her comfort you, feel her embrace, her tenderness, feel her skin next to yours, let her attend to your wounds, she knows, understand what it has taken to get to this point.  Give thanks to her in helping you to find the courage to face up to her and release your fear and unlock the door to your own wildness, your own intuitive magical nature……………………….. Run free………………….

Close your eyes if you want to, let your body move, let if flow and speak its own language, let your belly speak

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2 Responses to “Working with the Dark feminine”


  1. […] To learn more about Working with the Dark Feminine, have a look at this blog entry from the Living Energy Healer: https://livingenergyhealer.com/2009/11/03/working-with-the-dark-feminine/ […]

  2. sue Says:

    thank you for touching my hearts desire.


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