The Sensual Self

June 27, 2010

Artwork by Jeni Caruana

Out of all the artwork on Jeni’s website the piece  above is the one that really spoke to me ……………  Just look at her, the rounded gorgeousness, her full and abundant curves, the line of her belly as it undulates towards the fullness of her breast, on all fours her elbows lowering her close to mother earth. I can almost feel my skin touching the moistness of the rich earth beneath her.  She seems totally unaware of any outsiders gaze, so present and awake and alive in her own body, savouring her nakedness with a sense of certainty and pride.   She doesn’t appear to be obsessing about her image, monitoring her body to show it off in any particular way.  She is connected to her inner sacredness, her inner knowingness, the true gift of her intuitive powers, she appears totally at one with them

It’s when we are truly “at home” and present in our body that we become connected to our wildness, our erotic, sensual wildness, and our sexual selves………..   The word erotic derives from the Greek God Eros, literally meaning the personification of love, Plato said, “Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth”.   In today’s world the word erotic has come to mean almost the opposite of its real meaning, and in some cases has become a word used against a woman, its no wonder some women shy away from their instinctual intuitive power and cut themselves off from the part that is a source of such immense power.   We live in a society that both glorifies and condemns the freedom of sexual expression, on the one hand we see it used in everyday marketing to sell things from ice cream to trainers but sexual expression is somewhat frowned upon in a woman if she tries to express her sexual feelings and desires and becomes criticized or shamed for this behaviour.   Sexual repression, being disconnected from that true chaotic, creative wildness that is deep within us all, is robbing us of our true expression.

Erotic, sensual and sexual feelings are not words that are just connected to the sexual act and orgasm; they are feelings that are about desire, longing, passion for life and living, chaos, creativity and deep emotion.  `I have learnt from t following this path that my creativity comes from a deep connection within, and not from my head, when I create, draw, paint, feel strong passion for the ideas that are coursing through my veins it’s a very erotic feeling, I feel alive, my senses are heightened, I can taste the excitement rising, I am riding a crest of a wave and in the split second of creation, out of the reign of the chaotic swirling surf, the emotions reach their zenith, the idea shoots out across the paper and my body then sinks into a relaxed state.   I have similar feelings when seeing wonderful views, like the Perito Moreno Glacier in Patagonia, it took my breath away and I cried, tasting the silky smooth softness of chocolate melting in my mouth, when cool soft silk slides across freshly bathed skin, the smell of roses…  It’s all so wonderfully fulfilling.  Take a moment and think of what “does it” for you, go there in your heart and feel it in your body, what is it saying to you?  Listen carefully.

Live in love, connect to your passion, the passion YOU feel in your body, not what others think your passions should be but WHAT YOU THINK your passions are.  Have love in your life for everything around you, but above all have love for yourself, love who you are, find acceptance of who you are, love your body.  Dr C P Estes talks about the body as a “multilingual being” that speaks through color, temperature, its subtle movements, and its internal sensations such as a leaping heart or a pit in the stomach and says

“The body remembers, the bones remember, the joints remember, even the little finger remembers. Memory is lodged in pictures and feelings in the cells themselves. Like a sponge filled with water, anywhere the flesh is pressed, wrung, even touched lightly, a memory may flow out in a stream”.

She goes on to argue that the importance of the body lies not so much in its appearance, but in its vitality, its responsiveness, and its endurance. A woman who constantly must monitor her body and its form is robbed of her joyful relationship to her given form:

“To malign or judge a woman’s inherited physicality is to make generation after generation of anxious and neurotic women. To make destructive and exclusionary judgments about a woman’s inherited form, robs her of several critical and precious psychological and spiritual treasures. It robs her of pride in the body type that was given to her by her own ancestral lines. If she is taught to revile this body inheritance, she is immediately slashed away from her female identity with the rest of the family… Destroying a woman’s instinctive affiliation with her natural body cheats her of confidence. It causes her to verate about whether she is a good person or not, and bases her self-worth on how she looks instead of who she is”.

Our instinctual selves lie deep within, that juicy magical part that if we can continually connect to will help us to restore the wildness that for some remains illusive.  Coming home to that inner landscape will set your sensual erotic sexuality free.  Pay attention to your body, what it is telling you?  Meditate, journey, do sacred ceremony, be creative and make your journey to within, how you would like it to be.   Another way is to heighten your senses, make sacred space, work with a partner and take it in turns to activate all the five senses, be inventive, let your inner guidance take you to new places, trust and honour your sensuality.  Dance, sway and move to music that really transports you to other lands, dance with a partner, for a partner, dance naked, fully clothed, feel your body free, dance masked, blind folded, however you want it to be, but always open sacred space, call in the archetypes, light a candle and if you can put fresh flowers at your alter.  Set your intention and when you have finished thank and honour the archetypes and close sacred space.

In Munay

CAROL

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