August 24, 2010

TIME that precious commodity, that here in the modern day we seem to hold the paradigm that it’s in short supply.  We have a lack mentality around it and its something we live our lives by.

I most definitely have had big issues around this one, clock watching, deadlines, and if any “spare” time it had to be action packed so as not to waste this precious substance.  I held beliefs like “time is running out, get a move on girl”, Time is scarce”, “there is never enough time to get everything done”,  “ I wish there was more time for me”, “Where has all the time gone”, to “I am getting older my life is running out”.  Hurry, hurry, hurry, quickly, if I do something the easy way it will save time!  I am sure you can think of many of your own.

What are we doing to ourselves, to our relationships, our families, and our community? Never making time………

Completing the medicine wheel initially with the Four Winds, this commonly held paradigm was still in full flow.  When Alberto stood up in front telling us about the Mayan concept of circular time, and how he never waits for anything, like queuing up in the airport he never waits, I just thought, oh rubbish!!  Get in the real world Alberto.  Well now something big has changed I have had a huge shift in consciousness and now fully appreciate exactly how this “lack” mentality on time is a head thing.  It’s a patriarchal control issue and if we have the wisdom to let go, life becomes a totally different world.

I am not sure when this change in my perception changed or what happened to help me see differently but whilst researching something for the coming workshop I read something that really resonated with how I had started to live my life.

Something huge has shifted, it didn’t happen over night, looking back I can see its been evolving slowly over time.  I can see clearly how it’s my connection with the Universe; I am no longer feeling separate.

Since entering into the Crone energies, reaching the age of 60 a year or so ago I have begun to start seeing my life so differently.  I am finding the wisdom to truly let go of all the pain that has surrounded my war I had with the world for my survival and by putting down my archetypal weapons I can see exactly how the that vulnerable little child protected herself and how I thought it was serving me.  I have let go of the beliefs that I have to do everything myself and know now its ok to reach out.  In doing so I understand fully that trusting in the flow of life, dropping the control, time loses its enemy status.  Is any of this striking a cord with you?

The “letting go” is where it all begins, it can be easy or it can be hard, its all in the intention and again the beliefs we hold.  What beliefs are you still holding?    I held “how can I ever get over this, best thing is to forget” Wrong! It festers, first it’s finding acceptance of yourself and your shadow parts, and then finding acceptance of others in your life (we cannot change anyone else, but we can change ourselves and how we react to situations.) Practice being non judgmental and if we find ourselves in the act, its more than likely to be found in our own shadow……….  Try not to shrug your shoulders and lay the problem at someone else’s door, its all within us, and if we have the courage to have a look, only good things can happen.

Once acceptance is truly in place the rest seems to follow relatively effortlessly.  For me this is where I began to realize that the universe was actually supporting me, I was not alone in the world anymore.  I had space to allow it in, seems so simple really but its been one hell of a journey to get to this realisation.  I hope for many you are already there, I wouldn’t wish this part on anyone, but if you are still where I used to be, take note, if you keep doing the work, one does get there, honest!! And it is so worthwhile.

One has to face death to really live…  I am in the midst of another round of dying, my home.  This was and I suppose to a degree is my sanctuary, although I now realise that my sanctuary is within me.  When I left my husband which seems eons ago now, I left with only a suitcase of clothes, I adored the feeling of being free, but over time I wanted to surround myself with objects that reminded me of who I was, all this is because I had no clear identity, for so long I had been “Bruce’s” wife, wife of a successful businessman who had it all.  Who was I? The shamanic path has helped me with this, now I see I don’t need all the  “stuff” I am who I am, not my possessions.   So over the past few weeks I have been slowly letting go of everything I held close.  Obviously I still have to sleep in a bed, have items that are functional, but in the exercise of selling things on eBay, ordering carpet and selecting what I really need, that TIME element has reared, not in its scarcity way but in the not waiting and just getting on with life until it comes to me.   Time is not final, it’s not linear with a start and end, it’s most definitely circular, being present, just being in everyday and know the universe supports my every thought.

The following quotes from Don Antonio in a book by Alberto Villoldo


“Manana to gringos, is the day after tomorrow, clock time moving inexorably forward.   For us it’s a philosophy, largely misunderstood by westerners, it means, not doing today what will take care of itself tomorrow. Do what needs to be done today and no more. Not one inch more, you can call it the gift of patience. Trusting the implicit order of the universe, even if you cannot understand it at the moment. Never wait for anything, a bus, a train, for the water to boil, choose to enjoy the sun warming your back, the cool rain on your face and then the bus/train comes along.  Enjoy sitting by the warm embers warming you and then the water boils, no sooner, no later. No “waiting” it will make you insane.  I never wait anymore, everything comes to me


Today annihilates yesterday.  The person who went to sleep last night no longer exists.  But we to cling to the idea that we have a personal history, a past, and this is our identity.  We can only ever be what we are in the moment.  When we cross a stream the water rushes past underneath us, when we cross that stream again, its not the same stream, its not the same water, that has long gone down stream on its journey to the sea.

Blessings, Carol


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